NekoEkkun
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Re:Question for Birmingham/WBA/Villa fans - 2007/03/10 05:28
scientist, on the back of the Great Belgian Porn Explosion of `35, it was sadly suppressed by the uptight Nazis before the full potential of the sex-phone was realised. Only in recent years are von Boogaloo`s technologies again being taken up by unscrupulous multinationals operating under cover of a variety of front companies. Basically, it works like this. Person A, the "operator" (let`s call her, oh, I don`t know, "VB") sits in a call centre somewhere in Genk with her bits attached to the reciever and transmitter of the sex-phone. When someone, let`s call him "ST", wishes to have sex with someone far away, he places a call on his own sex phone, having first attached the relevant parts to the relevant parts. He gives VB the sex-phone number of his intended recipient, and she acts as the "connector" in this three-way sex-m?nage while he gets down to business. This may sound like your bog-standard teledildonics, but wait! Von Boogaloo`s genius lay in placing the groundwork for the possibility of all your normal telephone service add-ons. So you can leave an orgasm on the sex-phone answering machine for picking up later, select "friends and", erm, "family" for cheaper calls, or get free minutes connecting to sex-phone users on the same network. Von Boogaloo`s original version looked like one of those old stand-up telephones with the detachable earpiece bit -- in fact the telephone used by Bing Crosby in "Anything Goes" (1936) is really a sex-phone, if you look carefully you can see him creaming his pants just before he says "yes, officer, I`ll be there right away". Bing was one of the first sex-phone addicts, and continues to use it today from beyond the grave. With today`s minituarizing technologies, they now resemble a smaller stand-up telephone with a detachable earpiece bit. Oh, look, I`ve kind of lost my way here. The main purpose was just to use the word "sex-phone" as much as possible, but I`ve kind of painted myself into a corner now, not only which, but also kind of bored myself. If anyone`s still reading, thanks for sticking with it, and I apologise that the rewards were so meagre. Still: sex-phone. Sex-phone, sex-phone, sex-phone. There. I think that kind of rescued it.
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I know nothing about sex because I was always married.
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